ゆーくろっくの土井です。
前回の記事「私と不登校①〜不登校になったキッカケ〜」で紹介させて頂いたように私は、中学1年生の2学期〜中学校2年生の3学期まで不登校でした。しかし、中学校3年生に入ってからは人が変わったように登校するようになりました。
なぜ1年以上不登校だった私が登校できるようになったかについて本日は書いていきたいと思います。不登校脱することができたのには色々な要素があります。 今回のその中の1つを紹介したいと思います。
学校に行きたい、でも行けない
不登校がはじまった当初、両親は私をなんとか学校に行かせようとしました。親としてごく自然な対応であったと思います。子供が普通から外れることに対して両親も不安があったのだと思います。しかし、当時の私にとっては辛いことでもありました。自分でも学校に行かなければならないとわかっていました。
しかし、どうしても行けなかったのです。不登校が始まってしばらくの間は家にいるのもつらいものでした。「学校に行かなければいけない」でも、「学校にいけない」という繰り返しで、「なぜ他の人が普通にできることが自分にはできないんだろう・・・」自分を否定する毎日でした。
「できない」を否定せず、「できる」ことを認め、伸ばす
しかし、しばらく経つと少し状況が変わってきました。それは両親が「◯◯ができないこと」を叱るのではなく、「◯◯ができること」を認めてくれるようになったからです。それ以降私にとって家や家族がとても安心できる場所になりました。確かに他の子とは同じように学校に通うことはできません。しかし、私ができることも確かにあったのです。
伸び盛りの中学生。学校に行っていなくても、確かに日々成長していたのです。
両親がそういった努力を認め、才能を認めてくれたことは私が自信を取り戻し、学校に戻る上で非常に大きな出来事でした。
不登校を脱してからも、私は人とは違った選択をたくさんすることになります。
しかし、それでも自信を持って、充実した人生を歩めるのはその時に認めてもらった経験があるからだと思っており、両親には大変感謝しています。
また両親は私が学外でする活動にも非常に協力的でした。 普通ならば「学校に行ってないのに、好きなことをするなんてもってのほかだ！」という風に考えるでしょう。場合によっては周りの親から非難されるかもしれません。しかし、両親はまず私が楽しく過ごすこと、熱中することを持つことを大事にしてくれていました。そしてそれが不登校を脱する大きな一歩となりました。
次回は学外の活動でどのように心境が変化していったかについて書いていきたいと思います。
最後まで読んで頂き誠にありがとうございました。
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