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私と不登校③〜来るべき時に備える〜

こんにちは。ゆーくろっくの土井です。 前回の記事「私と不登校②〜不登校を脱したキッカケ〜」では、私が不登校を脱したキッカケとして学外の活動があったということを紹介させて頂きました。今回はその学外の活動を通して、私の心境がどう変化し、不登校を脱することになったかを紹介したいと思います。  

囲碁との出会い

私が当時出会った学外の活動は囲碁でした。中学生が囲碁!?と不思議に思われるかもしれませんが、当時囲碁を題材にした「ヒカルの碁」という漫画がブームだったのです。私は当時ブームだったこと、またネットを通じて遊べることをキッカケに囲碁をはじめました。学校へ行ってないことにより、元々好きだったスポーツができなかったこともあり、私は囲碁に夢中になりました。

人と交流する機会ができる

しばらくは一人でネットを通じて囲碁をやっていたのですが、ある時から囲碁教室に通いはじめるようになりました。囲碁教室では同世代、年下、年上など色んな人がいました。不登校になると家にこもりがちになり、人との関わりあいがなくなってしまいがちですが、私は囲碁を通して、外に出るキッカケ、人と関わるキッカケを得ました。

「不登校」というラベル抜きで認められる経験をする

囲碁という学外の活動をしていた中で最も大きかったのは「不登校」というラベル抜きで認められる経験をしたことです。それまでは学校のことに関して良い成績を収めていても、 「◯◯できるのはすごいけど、でも学校にまず毎日いけるようにならないと」 「◯◯はできるのに、学校にはいけないんだね・・・」   など、どんなにがんばっていても、学校に行っていない限り認められるということがありませんでした。   しかし、学外の活動である囲碁ではそんなことは関係ありませんでした。   純粋に囲碁の実力だけで見てくれて、そこでの努力や姿勢を認めてくれました。それまで「不登校」ということで、否定のまなざしで見られることが多かった私にとって、その経験は自信をつけ、新たな一歩を踏み出す上で必要不可欠でした。

来るべき時に備える

そして私は中3になってから学校に行きはじめるようになりました。中3になって学校に行き始めたのには今まで書いてきたこと以外にも色々な要因があります。不登校を脱するタイミングは何度か来ます。その中でうまくいったのが、私の場合は中3の時期でした。   重要なのはそのタイミングが来たときに一歩踏み出せる状態を作っておくことだと思います。   例えば、勉強は遅れないようにしておくこと。例えば、生活リズムは乱れないようにしておくこと。例えば、人との交流の機会を保っておくこと。例えば、自信をつけておくこと。   それらを積み重ね、「来るべき時」に備えることが次につながります。   今すぐ不登校を脱するのは難しいかもしれません。 しかし、いまのうちから自分が出来る準備をしていくことは必要です。 焦らず、自分にできることをひとつひとつ積み重ねていく。   それが不登校を脱するために必要なことではないかと思います。   最後まで読んでいただきありがとうございました。

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