不登校,ブログ,対処法,解決策,ノウハウ,知識不登校,ブログ,対処法,解決策,ノウハウ,知識

不登校の子どもに変わってほしければ、まず親が変わろう

親というのは子どもが不登校になると、学校へ行く気にさせたい、勉強をやる気にさせたいと願うものです。

ゆーくろっくにも「どうしたら学校に行ってくれるようになりますか?」という”方法”を問う相談が多いです。


しかし、方法でどうにかなるものではありません。

誰にも子どもを変えることはできません。


子どもが自分からその気にならなければ、親にも誰にも、どうにもできないのです。


そう言うと途方に暮れてしまうかもしれませんが、子どもが自分の未来に希望を持てるようになれば、自分から進んで勉強するようになります。そのために親ができることはあります。

私が父の背中から学んだこと

子どもは、親の生き方を見て人生がどういうものかを学びます。


私も中学生から高校生にかけて反抗期が激しく、親を強く嫌っていた時期がありましたが、今の年齢になって親の生き方が自分に大きな影響を与えていることを再認識しています。


私の家は、父、母、重度の障害者の兄、私、の4人家族でした。


障害児の子どもの世話は、本当に大変です。ごはんをあげる、おしめを替える、お風呂に入れる・・・当時の日本には、男が育児を手伝う文化は今ほどありませんでしたが、そういった兄の世話を父は当たり前のようにしていました。


今、私が育児を楽しめているのは、自分の時間を犠牲にして楽しく兄の世話をする父の姿を見ていたからです。


もし、自分の父が家庭を顧みない仕事人間だったら、私の人生観はそのように形成されてしまい、育児に仕事の時間を取られる現状に大きなストレスを抱えていたことでしょう。

私が母の背中から学んだこと

私は中学と高校の時期に勉強を怠けてしまい、成績は下から5番目でした。

そんな自分が高校3年生で勉強に目覚めたのは、母親のおかげです。


当時、母親は介護関係の資格をとるために勉強をはじめました。

朝夕は家事をし、昼は働き、夜に毎日勉強している。45才の高卒の母が、自分の目の前で毎日1時間勉強していました。


母の勉強する姿を見て、自分自身を情けなく思い胸が痛かったのは今でもはっきりと覚えています。


・自分が将来どうしたいのかを考え、それを成し遂げるために勉強すること

・勉強はやらされるものではなく、自分からやるものだということ

・人は何歳になっても勉強するものだということ


それらを母から学んだことで、「教師になりたい」という当時の自分なりの目標を立て、志望大学と学部を選び、心を入れ替えて受験勉強に取り組むことができました。

最後に

お子さんに勉強させようとする前に、親であるあなたが自分の幸せのために、何か勉強を始めてください。


お子さんは、あなたの姿をいつも見ています。あなたが手本になるのです。


・毎日30分読書する

・資格取得のための勉強をする

・趣味に熱中する

・もっと健康になるための勉強をする

・もっと美しくなるための勉強をする


「勉強=楽しい=幸せ」


親が楽しみながら勉強する姿を子どもに見せていたら、子どもはきっと変わるはずです。

367 comments on “不登校の子どもに変わってほしければ、まず親が変わろう”

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