子どもが不登校になった親御さんは、誰もがその原因や解決策について考えています。
「なぜうちの子が不登校になったんだろう」
「どうすれば学校に行けるようになるんだろう」
不登校支援を行っているさまざまな方々がいろんな見解を述べておられますが、ゆーくろっくでは、ネバタ大学の不登校クリニックで行われている『不登校の認知行動療法』をベースに、日々のカウンセリングの蓄積を踏まえて、不登校の原因や解決策について考えています。
認知行動療法において不登校の原因は大きく4つの分類にわけることができ、それぞれに必要な対応があります。
本日は、不登校の原因の4つの分類について説明し、明日以降それぞれの原因への対応を説明していきます。
不登校の原因① 学校に関連する場所・活動・モノに苦痛を感じる
通学バス、廊下、教室、プール、消化器といった学校に関連する場所・活動・モノに不安や苦痛を感じることがあります。
また、その際には本人の中で何に不安を感じているのかが明確な場合とそうでない場合があります。
「学校そのものは嫌いじゃないけど通学バスが苦手」
「先生や友だちとの関係は悪くないけど、教室で座っていることに苦痛を感じる」
「プールやマラソンが嫌だ」
このように学校に関連することへの感情がきっかけで不登校になってしまいます。
不登校の原因② 先生や友だちと会うことや彼らの目に苦痛を感じる
これは、ゆーくろっくの生徒においては最も多い不登校の理由です。
一つ目の原因と違うのは「人」が原因である点です。
「体育や音楽の実技発表で、人前に出て見られるのがイヤだ」
「テストで先生にネガティブな評価をされるのがイヤだ」
「いじめられるのがつらい」
「教室に入るときに見られるのがこわい」
などのように「対人場面」、「評価」、「人の目」を恐れて学校に行けなくなってしまうのです。
①と似ており、実際①と②の両方が当てはまる子どももいますが、”純粋に運動が嫌いなので体育がイヤなら①”、”運動の好き嫌いではなく、運動しているところを見られたりバカにされるのが嫌なら②”という風に分かれます。
不登校の原因③ 親や周囲に自分を見てほしい
これは、年齢の低い子どもや母子家庭の子ども不登校の原因になりやすい項目です。
親のそばにいないと不安を強く感じてしまう子どもは、もっと親と一緒にいたい、もっと親に自分を見てほしいと思って、不登校になることがあります。
また、母子家庭のご家庭でまれに、学校に行かずに家の手伝いをしたほうがお母さんの負担を軽くできると考えて、学校に行く意味を見い出せなくなることがあります。親に甘えたいから家にいたがるのではなく、親を心配して家にいたがるのです。
不登校の原因④ 学校に行くよりも休んだほうが楽しい
これは10歳以上の子どもの不登校によくある原因の一つです。
「学校に行くよりも家で寝ている方が楽だ」
「学校で勉強するよりもゲームをしている方が楽しい」
「友だちとさぼって遊んでいる方が楽しい」
というように、彼らは学校に行くよりも休んだほうが単純に楽しいと考えているのです。
最後に
以上のとおり、不登校の原因の大きな4つのパターンについて説明しました。
ただ、不登校になった”最初の原因”を考えることは、実は不登校の改善にはあまり役立ちません。
なぜなら、多くの不登校生が不登校が続いている要因を2つ以上抱えていますし、不登校になった当初から学校に行けない理由が変わってくる場合があるからです。
たとえば、ゆーくろっくの生徒のAくんは、はじめは学校のマラソンが苦痛で休み始めたものの、休むようになると家にいることの楽しさに気づいてしまい、マラソンをやらない季節になっても学校に行けなくなったということがありました。
また、Cさんは、元々は先生が嫌いで学校を休み始めたものの、いざ休むと今度は先生が苦手なだけではなく、教室に入るときにみんなに見られてしまうのがこわくなっているという状態になっていました。
子どもが不登校の理由を説明してくれないと嘆くお母さんは多いのですが、理由が変わってきたり理由が増えたということが説明を難しくしているのだと、理解してあげてください。
なぜ不登校になってしまったのか」という最初のきっかけや原因を考えるだけでなく、「今もまだ学校に行けていない理由は何か」も合わせて考え、対応策を練っていくことが重要です。それが不登校の改善の難しい難しさでもあります。
次回は、それぞれの原因に対する対応を紹介します。
また、簡単な質問に答えると不登校の原因と対処法提示されるWEBサービス「セルフチェッカー」もぜひ使ってみてください。
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