こんにちは。ゆーくろっくの土井です。
「社会は学校より厳しいのだから学校くらいがんばれ」
「学校に行けないような子は社会では生きていけない」
不登校の問題について考える時、このような言葉を聞くことが多いのではないでしょうか。
私もそのような言葉を不登校の当時よく聞いた覚えがあります。そして、その言葉により、不登校である自分の将来が不安になり、何度もつらい気持ちになりました。
しかし、本当に社会は学校より厳しいのでしょうか。
私は必ずしもそうではないと感じています。むしろ社会のほうが多様性があり、うまく自分の特性に合った選択肢を選ぶことができれば、学校よりも社会のほうが過ごしやすいという風に実際に社会に出てから思うようになりました。
不登校の将来を不安視する必要はない
社会には学校よりも多様な人たちがいる
学校は、先生を除けば自分と同世代の人間しかおらず、ほとんどの時間を同じ年の人と過ごします。住んでいる地域、生活水準、考え方がどうしても似通ってくるため、極めて同質性の高い集団になります。
しかし、社会に出ると状況は変わってきます。いろんな世代の人、いろんな地域出身の人と働くことになりますし、場合によっては国籍が違うこともあるでしょう。だからこそ、「違い」というものに寛容ですし、相手が自分と違っても攻撃したりすることは少ないです。逆に言えば、自分がまわりと違っていてもそこまで気にならなくなり、気持ちがとても楽なのです。
社会には学校よりも多様な選択肢がある
例えば学校ではみんなが同じことを要求されます。みんな同じ時間に登校し、同じように授業を受け、同じ基準で評価されます。しかも、それらを自分で選ぶことはできません。またそれが自分に合わないからといって、他の選択肢を選ぶこともなかなかできません。
しかし、社会に出て働く場合を考えると、自分で興味のある業界や職種を選ぶこともできますし、働き方を選択することもできるのです。
学校よりも会社の方が移動しやすい
転校というのはなかなかハードルが高く、実際に転校すると負い目を感じたり批判を受けることもあると思います。しかし、転職して仕事や会社を変えることはとても簡単なことであり、多くの人が当然のようにしていることです。会社や仕事が自分に合わなければ別の場所に移動しやすいので、学校は社会よりも生きやすいと思います。
だから、不登校だからといって将来を不安視する必要はありません。むしろ、私は不登校を経験したからこそ、社会に出てから正しい選択ができたと思っています。
不登校の経験が実は将来に活きる
不登校を経験したが、今は社会で快適に働いている
私の場合で考えると、幼い頃から睡眠に問題があり、どうしても学校のリズムに合わせられず、学校に適応できませんでした。しかし、一方で 自分のリズムで過ごせた時は、問題なく過ごすことができ、成果を残せるという自信もありました。そこでは私は自分のリズムに合った仕事を探すことにし、現在では特に問題なく社会で働けています。
また、神経過敏で集団の中で過ごすと周りの会話や物音などを敏感にキャッチしてしまい、異様に疲れてしまうという特性もありました。したがって、できるだけ個人のスペースで集中して仕事をできる職業を選択し、うまくやることができています。
社会で快適に生きるためには、自分の特性に合った仕事選びが重要
もちろんどんな人にとっても、またどんな場合でも、社会のほうが学校より快適というわけではありません。社会で快適に生きるためには、自分の特性を深く理解するということが必要だと感じています。自分は一体何が好きで、どんな時に成果を残すことができ、逆にどんなことが嫌いでストレスに感じ、生産性が低くなってしまうのかなどを自分で知っておくことが重要です。
不登校を通じて自分への理解を深めれば、将来は不安でなくなる
不登校かどうかに限らず、若者は誰しもが将来に漠然とした不安を感じています。今の日本では大人でもそうかもしれません。
しかし、不登校になると自分と向き合うことになり、自分の特性をよく理解できるようになるので、自分に合った働き方・生き方を選べるようになっていきます。もちろん、なかには受け入れたくない自分の特性もあるでしょう。しかし、不登校はそういった自分の特性を知り、自分を受け入れた上で、自分の道を歩んでいくには絶好の機会です。
「不登校は自分に向き合う良い機会〜不登校がもたらす成長〜」でも述べさせて頂いたように、不登校では自分と向き合う機会が多く、それにより気付きを得ることが多いのです。
最後に
私自身も不登校の時期がなければ、自分の特性に気づくことや、気づいたとしてもそれを受け入れることはできなかったでしょう。また、不登校を乗り越えたことで、自分に自信を持てるようになり、少々の困難にはへこたれなくなりました。
不登校だからといって、社会に決して適応できないわけではありません。不安になる必要は決してありません。
自分にできることから一歩ずつ積み重ねていきましょう。
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