不登校,ブログ,対処法,解決策,ノウハウ,知識不登校,ブログ,対処法,解決策,ノウハウ,知識

不登校生に一番必要なものは親の幸せ

「学校に行く意味がわからない」

「なんで勉強しないといけないのかわからない」


いじめや先生への恐怖といった事が不登校の原因になることも多くありますが、特に理由はないもの学校に行く意義を見出せず、不登校になることがあります。


以前、高校2年生の娘さんの不登校に悩むお母さんにこんな方がいらっしゃいました。

お母さんの口ぐせ

「私は今まで苦労ばかりしていて、今もすごく不幸でつらいです。給料の安い会社で朝から晩まで働いていて、会社の人はとても意地悪です。学歴も低いから今の会社で働かざるをえず、将来に希望なんか持てません。だからこの子だけは幸せになって欲しいんです。」


このお母さんは、いつもご自身の人生を嘆いていました。みなさんはこれを読んでどう思いましたか?


果たして彼女のお子さんは、今日を楽しく生きられるでしょうか?未来に希望を持てるでしょうか?

とてもそうは思えませんよね。なぜなら最も身近な大人が「自分は不幸」と思っているからです。

子どもは親を見て「人生」というものを知る

子どもは、大人になったらどんな人生が待っているかを当然知りません。

だから、親を見て、将来の人生のイメージが形成されていきます。


「僕は将来、将来お父さんのようになるのかなあ」

「私は将来、お母さんのようになるのね」
と感じています。


だから、もし今あなたが自分ことを不幸だと思っていたら、お子さんは自分も将来不幸になると感じます。

学校に行くのは、いろんなことを学んで人生を豊かにするためですから、自分の人生に希望を持てないと学校に行く気持ちも失われていきます。だからこそ、まず親が幸せを感じられるようにならないといけないのです。

幸せを感じるために大事なこと

幸せを感じるためにはどうすればよいのでしょうか?


人はすぐ現状に不満を持つ生き物です。身の回りにあるもののありたがみをすぐに忘れてしまい、失ってはじめて気づくというのが人間のいけないところです。


だから、幸せというのは常に思い出さないといけないのではないでしょうか。


昔のアルバムや日記を読み返し、これまでの家族生活を振り返ってください。

食卓でどんどん家族の楽しい思い出話を話題にしてください。


旅行や行事などの思い出、一つ一ついろんなことができるようになったお子さんの成長、そういったものを改めて思い出すことで、忘れていた身の回りの幸せに改めて気づくはずです。


自分のところに生まれてきてくれてありがとうと、元気でいてくれるだけでいいと、お子さんに対して思えるはずです。


親がそんなことを感じながら毎日を過ごしていたら、お子さんもきっと自分の将来に希望を抱き、元気を取り戻すはずです。親の言葉は子どもの未来への予言であることを忘れず、お子さんによい予言を聴かせてあげてください。

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